Hello.
Yes, I am still getting the hang of the blog composer here. I can never seem to be consistant with the layout... but I AM slowly getting the hang of it. Much like the posting I did about the behind the scenes was more than just a step by step showing of how I make a post (it was also an experiment to see how easy it is to post multiple pictures in a post... something that will become important soon enough), I am constantly trying to expand what I can and cannot do on here. In the meantime...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
These Dreams
Before I begin:
Well THIS is strange... I thought I had posted this some time ago, realized I hadn't, and thought it gone forever. Amazing what you find when using your backup computer. Enjoy.
Hello.
I seem to be kind of an oddity, since I have very vivid dreams that I tend to remember most of. Some are mishmashes of the past day’s events, thrown in with some theme of something I was perusing watching before I go to bed, but there are others…
The human mind is an amazing thing, capable of complex equations, vast worlds created constantly in it… but we know so little of it. Every day we hear of discoveries of what the human brain is capable of, but we discover so much of it so slowly. I think our brains also try to help us find truths of things we have witnessed, and it does it through our dreams.
Our senses gather in so much raw data, that our conscious mind filters out a majority of it so we can function properly. But all that input is still there and some of it may be more important to us than we realize. That is where our sub consciousness comes in. It is able to sift through all the raw input and find that little detail we may have missed. It wants to show us this info, but it cannot directly… which is where our dreams come in.
Our subconscious utilizes our dreams to give us the information, but because of how our dreams work, it cannot give it to us straight. Instead it combines it like I said above; with other events of the day and other means the brain was stimulated, like movies, television, and books. The hard part is finding what is relevant in it all. I think the oracles of old were like this, where their visions were dreams which their subconscious was telling them what was already known filtered through their religion. I also think this when people claim they had visions. I personally have noticed that sometimes there is an underlying theme in my dreams vastly different than what I am dreaming about.
For example, I may be dreaming of traveling around the Tardis as The Doctor, but with all his abilities, I am using it… to realize where I had lost my keys. And waking up, I then find them where my dream told me where they are. This is a more trivial example of what happens. I have had other revelations come to me in dreams. I have posted a dream about the joker in my old blog that revealed to me what I have been afraid to admit to myself. I have had others as well, and I will be posting some here when I can.
Well THIS is strange... I thought I had posted this some time ago, realized I hadn't, and thought it gone forever. Amazing what you find when using your backup computer. Enjoy.
Hello.
I seem to be kind of an oddity, since I have very vivid dreams that I tend to remember most of. Some are mishmashes of the past day’s events, thrown in with some theme of something I was perusing watching before I go to bed, but there are others…
The human mind is an amazing thing, capable of complex equations, vast worlds created constantly in it… but we know so little of it. Every day we hear of discoveries of what the human brain is capable of, but we discover so much of it so slowly. I think our brains also try to help us find truths of things we have witnessed, and it does it through our dreams.
Our senses gather in so much raw data, that our conscious mind filters out a majority of it so we can function properly. But all that input is still there and some of it may be more important to us than we realize. That is where our sub consciousness comes in. It is able to sift through all the raw input and find that little detail we may have missed. It wants to show us this info, but it cannot directly… which is where our dreams come in.
Our subconscious utilizes our dreams to give us the information, but because of how our dreams work, it cannot give it to us straight. Instead it combines it like I said above; with other events of the day and other means the brain was stimulated, like movies, television, and books. The hard part is finding what is relevant in it all. I think the oracles of old were like this, where their visions were dreams which their subconscious was telling them what was already known filtered through their religion. I also think this when people claim they had visions. I personally have noticed that sometimes there is an underlying theme in my dreams vastly different than what I am dreaming about.
For example, I may be dreaming of traveling around the Tardis as The Doctor, but with all his abilities, I am using it… to realize where I had lost my keys. And waking up, I then find them where my dream told me where they are. This is a more trivial example of what happens. I have had other revelations come to me in dreams. I have posted a dream about the joker in my old blog that revealed to me what I have been afraid to admit to myself. I have had others as well, and I will be posting some here when I can.
Monday, April 12, 2010
But What the Hell…
Hello Cruel World
Hello cruel world so this is you
A broken heart a withered view
I'm looking out to face another day
The angry mob, the happy mass
This birthday cake may be the last
I'm looking out to find another way
Norman Rockwell colors fade
All my favorite things have changed
What the hell,
Hello cruel world
I thought I heard an opera star
Who had no home under the stars
She sang and sang and sang the night away
And mother nature changed her name
She doesn't want to play the game
I don't believe she'll ever be the same
So big brother never came
Howdy-Doodie gets the blame
But what the hell
Hello cruel world
Bad and beautiful and strange
Monkeys dancing in a cage
But what the hell
Hello cruel world
Venus de Milo grew an arm
And old McDonald bought the farm
Say goodbye
Hello cruel world
Norman Rockwell colors fade
All my favorite things have changed
But what the hell, hello cruel world
Bad and beautiful and strange
Monkeys dancing in a cage
But what the hell
Hello cruel world
Say goodbye, hello cruel world
But what the hell
Hello cruel world
Hello hello
Ooooh ooooh
Hello cruel world
Sometimes you hear something that hits you deep and never goes away.
I first heard this song in the early days of the 90’s on the (then new) 107.7 the End. It was a different sound than what was playing at the time; soft yet powerful compared to the likes of what was big then… and I was hooked. But I never really thought about why it connected with me. It took a conversation years later I had with an admitted nihilist to realize why it had deep meaning with me.
(Out of respect and courtesy I will not mention names.)
We were out one night having a couple drinks and picking each other’s minds about our personal philosophies. I thought I was cynical, but she easily trumped me. She actively hopes for humanity’s demise. ‘Let the animals have it all’ is her belief. Me, while I despise a LOT of what humanity does to itself, other species, and the world in general, I see occasional flashes where I can see our potential. And seeing that, I know hope. (While she vehemently disagrees with me, we understand each other’s views and don’t let it get in the way of friendship.) Realizing this about myself lets me understand why I love this song.
It comes down to two reasons. Reason one deals with the narrator’s reaction to the events in the song. When he first starts to witness all that’s going around him, he expresses disbelief. (‘What the hell?’) But also in the song, he says that despite this, he will keep going, to find better (‘I’m looking out to find another way’); and while not liking what he sees, he accepts it as part of the journey. (‘But what the hell, hello cruel world.’)
The second part is a line repeated twice in the song; a line that perfectly describes how I feel about humanity:
‘Bad and beautiful and strange.’
I have used a variation of this line before when talking about why I feel we have redeeming qualities as a species. Are we broken? Most likely… but are we irreparable? No, we just have to get over our inherent stupidity to realize what we can truly be.
PS- I would be remiss not to mention the artist of this song. It is from the album ‘A Man Called E’ by- err- A man called ‘E’. I highly recommend this album as well as others he has done with his band, The Eels. They are deceptively easy listening that will make you think after the last note has played…
PPS- When looking for copies of the lyrics to this song, I found out they are listed two ways: the way I have them here, and a way where ‘Bad and beautiful and strange’ is instead ‘Fat and beautiful and strange.’ As you can guess, I prefer the first version, and so that is what I will continue to sing it (badly) as…
Friday, April 9, 2010
Mister Self Distract
Mr. Self Destruct
I am the voice inside your head (and I control you)
I am the lover in your bed (and I control you)
I am the sex that you provide (and I control you)
I am the hate you try to hide (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
I speak religion's message clear (and I control you)
I am denial, guilt and fear (and I control you)
I am the prayers of the naive (and I control you)
I am the lie that you believe (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
I am the needle in your vein
I am the high you can't sustain
I am the pusher, I'm a whore
I am the need in you for more
I am the bullet in the gun (and I control you)
I am the truth from which you run (and I control you)
I am a silencing machine (and I control you)
I am the end of all your dreams (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
Now that I have your attention…
Let me start this off by saying that despite the opening to this post I am not feeling suicidal. In fact, for the first time in a long time, I’m not even feeling depressed. I seem to have gained back some sense of purpose and drive. No, the problem is that I don’t seem to have gained enough back for what I want to do. Let me explain…
There are many things I want and should do. I have about a half dozen films to watch, 2 seasons of Dexter I am behind on, sort my Lego, sort books for the used book store, lose weight, the list goes on. The problem is not that I don’t have the time, but rather that I find was to NOT make the time. It’s like I delay certain goals with other, not nearly as important ones.
Can’t sort my Lego, I am researching on Wikipedia. Can’t watch ‘The Hurt Locker’, I’m watching Star Wars reviews on Youtube. Can’t ride my exercise bike, I must sort my backpack. I am always as of late seeming to find some other activity to stop me from my intended activity. And it IS frustrating. I know what it is I want to need to do, but I cannot seem to let myself do it. This is especially bizarre since the activities I replace them with would most likely befall the same fate if they were my primary to-dos.
Is it some mental block I am creating for myself? Am I sabotaging myself? Trying to make myself feel like I am accomplishing nothing? Why you let me do this to you? I am not sure. When I realize I am doing it, I can sometimes correct it… but more often I don’t think about it until after the fact. For the most part it’s not a major problem or life threatening (Except for that whole getting my fat ass skinnier) so I am not too terribly worried about it. But small problems delayed tend to become larger, so I have to get on it.
P.S. I know the song doesn’t exactly fit the theme of this post, but between the part where Trent whispers ‘You let me do this to you’ and the opportunity to use it to make a GREAT post title, how could I resist?
P.P.S. You know, using the lyrics has given me an idea. I think that I might be posting some of my favorite songs and then explaining why I like them so much. Kind of a get into my head and see WHY I like said song so much. I already have a few candidates working their way through my head…
I am the voice inside your head (and I control you)
I am the lover in your bed (and I control you)
I am the sex that you provide (and I control you)
I am the hate you try to hide (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
I speak religion's message clear (and I control you)
I am denial, guilt and fear (and I control you)
I am the prayers of the naive (and I control you)
I am the lie that you believe (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
I am the needle in your vein
I am the high you can't sustain
I am the pusher, I'm a whore
I am the need in you for more
I am the bullet in the gun (and I control you)
I am the truth from which you run (and I control you)
I am a silencing machine (and I control you)
I am the end of all your dreams (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct
Now that I have your attention…
Let me start this off by saying that despite the opening to this post I am not feeling suicidal. In fact, for the first time in a long time, I’m not even feeling depressed. I seem to have gained back some sense of purpose and drive. No, the problem is that I don’t seem to have gained enough back for what I want to do. Let me explain…
There are many things I want and should do. I have about a half dozen films to watch, 2 seasons of Dexter I am behind on, sort my Lego, sort books for the used book store, lose weight, the list goes on. The problem is not that I don’t have the time, but rather that I find was to NOT make the time. It’s like I delay certain goals with other, not nearly as important ones.
Can’t sort my Lego, I am researching on Wikipedia. Can’t watch ‘The Hurt Locker’, I’m watching Star Wars reviews on Youtube. Can’t ride my exercise bike, I must sort my backpack. I am always as of late seeming to find some other activity to stop me from my intended activity. And it IS frustrating. I know what it is I want to need to do, but I cannot seem to let myself do it. This is especially bizarre since the activities I replace them with would most likely befall the same fate if they were my primary to-dos.
Is it some mental block I am creating for myself? Am I sabotaging myself? Trying to make myself feel like I am accomplishing nothing? Why you let me do this to you? I am not sure. When I realize I am doing it, I can sometimes correct it… but more often I don’t think about it until after the fact. For the most part it’s not a major problem or life threatening (Except for that whole getting my fat ass skinnier) so I am not too terribly worried about it. But small problems delayed tend to become larger, so I have to get on it.
P.S. I know the song doesn’t exactly fit the theme of this post, but between the part where Trent whispers ‘You let me do this to you’ and the opportunity to use it to make a GREAT post title, how could I resist?
P.P.S. You know, using the lyrics has given me an idea. I think that I might be posting some of my favorite songs and then explaining why I like them so much. Kind of a get into my head and see WHY I like said song so much. I already have a few candidates working their way through my head…
Insights and Lessons Learned from SakuraCon
-Live Tweeting is fine and dandy, but rather difficult when you are oogling the cosplayers
-New reason to lose weight ASAP: fear of getting the condition I call Fat Person Funk (FPF)
-FAR better variety of merchandise than at Emerald City ComiCon, but not NEARLY as much Big Freakin’ Robot (BFR) merchandise as I thought there would be
-Amazingly, there was no shame from people perusing the hentai booths
-I SERIOUSLY thought of hitting on Velma…
-LOTS of videogames, and lots of fun to be had watching cosplayers play Dance Dance Revolution
-Best Buy: WORST. BOOTH. EVER.
-Broken in shoes do WONDERS for walking
-A good portion of the booths sold edged weaponry. Does that mean geeks are trusted more around blades?
-Black Widow was the only cosplayer I pursued to get a picture of
-And I regret not getting a picture of her GORGEOUS ass
-Seemed like almost everyone there thinks anime consists solely of Bleach and Naruto (Thanks a LOT, Cartoon Network...)
-I cannot figure out which videogame got the most love: Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Legend of Zelda… or Team Fortress 2
-Next time, bring one of those GIGANTIC bags you can get from IKEA
-Would it have killed them to have ONE transforming Garland from Megazone 23?
-Next time I should buy a hat, but which kind: anime or steampunk?
-I wonder, if I was able to score with a cosplayer, would the magic be gone if they DIDN'T wear the outfit…?
And MOST importantly-
BRING A DECENT CAMERA!!!!
(Time to start checking out Cnet…)
Today's Chikenese
Objective Left: ACTUAL left, not what you THINK is left.
This phrase evolved from a daily situation I deal with. When a person at my job is paying with a credit card, they must sign in the upper left corner. I would hand them the form to sign, say ‘Please sign the upper left corner.’ And then watch them as they proceed to sign the upper RIGHT corner. I used to correct them by saying ‘Your OTHER left.’ But I decided I need something that doesn’t make them feel as stupid. It was then I realized what might be happening.
When I give them the forms to sign and tell them about signing the upper left corner, I believe they are assuming I mean MY left. The left they were thinking was subjective to their point of view. And so the term ‘objective left’ was born. I can say it to let people know the correct area to sign and instead of feeling like fools, they feel like they have a bit more knowledge of how the business I work for runs…
Why yes, I AM a genius…
This phrase evolved from a daily situation I deal with. When a person at my job is paying with a credit card, they must sign in the upper left corner. I would hand them the form to sign, say ‘Please sign the upper left corner.’ And then watch them as they proceed to sign the upper RIGHT corner. I used to correct them by saying ‘Your OTHER left.’ But I decided I need something that doesn’t make them feel as stupid. It was then I realized what might be happening.
When I give them the forms to sign and tell them about signing the upper left corner, I believe they are assuming I mean MY left. The left they were thinking was subjective to their point of view. And so the term ‘objective left’ was born. I can say it to let people know the correct area to sign and instead of feeling like fools, they feel like they have a bit more knowledge of how the business I work for runs…
Why yes, I AM a genius…
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