Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A dream that became a fairytale

A preface before I post this.  

I have mentioned in the past that I tend to have rather vivid dreams.  While the exact story was fogged when I woke up, the visuals from this dream remained vivid.  After I woke up and quickly went to my computer and wrote this down, almost stream of conscious style.  After letting someone I trust to tell me the truth read it, I added paragraph breaks and did a final bit of cleanup.  From waking up to final editing, the total time writing this out was about 20 minutes.  Not bad.

I am keeping this in the simple style, in the vein of the fairytales it is an homage to.  (Not Grimm, though.  More like Hans Christian Andersen.)  I hope you enjoy this and let me know, as that will encourage me to write more like this.

(A side note-  I actually had two vastly different dreams during this time.  the fairy tale was the first.  the second had more a sci-fi feel.  It was also a twist on a common theme in the genre, and I may write it down as well...)


Once upon a time there was a hero. 

  He was all a hero was expected to be- dashing, brave, handsome, and in general a pretty decent fellow.  He spent his days doing heroic deeds, and eventually he attracted the attention of a beautiful princess.  She was the fairest maiden in the land and when they met, people far and wide sprung into songs of joy seeing the two of them together. 

  Except for an evil wizard.  His jealousy of the hero and desire for  the princess gnawed at his dark heart and mind until finally he took action and kidnapped the princess.  The people were devastated, and the hero inconsolable.  But a hero never stays down for long.  He gathered himself and prepared to face the wizard and rescue his beloved princess- but first he went to fetch his secret weapon.

  It wasn’t a magic sword, an invincible shield, a powerful talisman.  No, it was his friend.  His friend was a man of great intelligence and cleverness.  Preferring to stay in the shadows of his more impressive appearing friend, he nonetheless was always there for the hero, helping him see the correct pathway for victory.

  The two set off, the hero planning the attack as the friend planned the rest.  Many challenges were met with and surpassed by the friend’s cleverness.  He deduced to use an ice boat to cross the lava flow.  He saw through the trickery of the trickster ursines and their meddling ways.  While the hero drove them forward through the desolate woods, the friend poured through ancient texts, eventually finding the location of the talisman needed to defeat the wizard.

  He guided both of them to the giant lake, where the water giant lived.  She alone had what it was they needed.  The hero issued a challenge to her, standing bravely ready for conquest.  She wouldn’t come.  While the hero continued issuing challenges, the friend snuck through the shallows, coming to the hill the giantess hid behind.  He saw her there, crying.  Any thoughts of fighting fled his mind, and he was overtaken with her sadness.

  ‘Why are you crying?’  he asked earnestly.  The giantess, never before confronted in such a way, looked at the friend quizzically.

  ‘No one has ever asked me before.  They all just wish to fight or conquer me.’

  ‘Why is that?’ the friend asked.

  ‘Because I am a monster!’  she wailed.  ‘Look at me, I am a hideous creature!’  And he looked at her and really saw her.

  ‘You may be ten times my size, milady,’ he proclaimed, ‘But you are NO monster.’  Indeed, for other than her gigantic size, she was in fact an attractive woman.  ‘You are beautiful.’  He said to her earnestly.  The giantess looked at him, expecting mocking looks and ready to pummel him, but stopped when she saw his eyes.  She saw he was telling the truth.  She looked back at him, confused.

  ‘Why do say this?  How do you see this?’  He looked at her and told her the truth.

  ‘My lady, I have spent my life living in the shadow of my friend, the hero.  As long as I was able to help him and others, I was happy.  I myself kept to the shadows because I felt I was never going to be his equal in the eyes of others.  He was always the shining one compared to the drabness in me.  I may be far more clever, but you can’t see clever.  I lived my life observing others and helping.  You have lived in isolation because you feel you do not fit into society proper.  They never came to know you.  They just saw your size and ran.  It is why no one ever claimed the talisman.  People believed the legends, not the reality.  I see the reality, and I see a beautiful woman who is lonely, who wants someone to see that.  I am that someone.’  She stopped crying and wanted to believe, but suddenly turned cold.

  ‘You just want the talisman!  You are trying to trick me.  Be gone, and tell them the monster will not be tricked thus!’  She started to leave, to hide deeper in the lake.  He followed her, having to slightly tread water as it got deeper.

  ‘Milady, please listen!  It is true that I need the talisman to help the hero rescue his beloved.  But I won’t fight or trick you for it.  I make this vow:  please allow me to use it and I swear I will find a way for you to never be lonely again!’  She turned, ready to be a beast to him, but again stopped when she saw his eyes.  She saw truth there, and… pain.  A pain she also suffered.  In that moment she believed.  She reached up to her neck and unclasped the chain there.  She removed the tiny (to her) talisman and handed it to him.  He accepted it gratefully and looked into her eyes.

  ‘I thank you, milady.  I swear I will return.’  He left her and found the hero, who had tired of issuing challenges and was sitting dejectedly.  The friend produced the talisman and many thanks were laid upon him.

  They headed to the wizard’s castle, where the hero defeated and slayed the wizard and won back his princess.  As the three of them stood at the entrance to the wizard’s keep, the friend wished them well and a happy life.  The hero, confused, asked what did the friend mean.  The friend told him that he could not go with them on the rest of their journey.  He could no longer be part of their tale.  He had business here in the wizard’s keep, and a promise to fulfill.  The hero was greatly saddened, because the friend was like a brother to him.  The friend said that sometimes one must go their own path, despite how it saddens him.  He told the hero that this was not the end- just a divergence.  They would see each other again.

  ‘Besides, I think your princess will keep your days filled for some time.  Be with her and enjoy life’ the two men embraced, expressing their love for each other, then parted.  The hero and the princess left, and the friend got to work.

  He pored over the magical tomes, trying to find that which he sought.  And soon enough, he did.

  The giantess sat in the lake, alone.  It had been two months since the friend had made his vow, and she had heard whisperings of their success and the hero and the princess’ triumphant return to their land.  She cursed herself as a fool for believing the friend.  He used her, she thought; he plied on her weakness for his own gain!  She started crying angry tears, doomed to be alone forever.

  ‘Milady, it always pains me to hear you in such pain’ said a familiar voice.  She stopped and looked in disbelief.  There was the friend, finally back from the wizard’s keep, a small bottle in his hand.

  ‘I thought you had tricked me!’  She cried.

  ‘I am so sorry.  I worked as quickly as I could.  I studied many of the wizard’s tomes, to find a solution.  I first searched for an incantation or potion to shrink you to normal human size.  I must say I did not find any such thing.  I found no way to change you, but then I realized why should you change?  With that in mind, I created this.’  He held up the bottle.  He removed the stopper and drank its contents.

  ‘What was that?’  She inquired.

  ‘Since I would not change you,’ he said ‘that means I have to change me.’  He slowly started growing.  ‘I found a potion to make one ten times their original size.  It is permanent.’  He continued to grow.

  ‘Why would you give up everything for me?’ she asked amazed as he started to reach her size.  His growth stopped when he was but slightly larger than her.  He offered his hand, helping her up to face him and looked deep into her eyes.

  ‘Because you are worth it.  Now neither of us will ever be alone again.’  He embraced her and they kissed passionately, both ecstatic that they have finally found what they were looking for- each other.

And they lived happily ever after.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Breaking the Cycle

This is a post about 9/11 but it’s NOT going to be the usual…

I planned on writing a post to talk about this day, but I realized I had talked about it several times before. I have already talked about where I was and what happened on the day of the attack. The little ritual I do every year? It hasn’t changed, except that I got ‘United 93’ on blu-ray now. In all honesty, there really isn’t much that I can talk about that either I, or someone else, will have said. (And probably more eloquently than I…) then I realized there was one thing I could talk about- about rejoining.

With the exception of the morning and evening of 9/11, I have not worked on that day the last 10 years. (Back when it happened I worked overnights, hence the morning and night.) Mostly it was the luck of my days off coinciding, but there were a couple times I took personal leave days. My justification was that I used the time to honor those who died, to spend time reflecting on what happened and what I could possibly do to make sure it never happened again. It sounds good…

But it’s not really the truth.

If I had a face to face with you the last 10 or so months, one thing I have mentioned is that 2011 is the year everything changes for me. For the first time in a long time I feel optimistic about the future, kinda ironic considering the state of the world. I have a viable long term plan. I am moving onto better things and a better station in life, even though one of the big changes will actually now happen early next year, due to my own stupidity. A lot has gone for the better for me. And last March I woke up and realized I needed another change:

I had to take 9/11 back.

You see, the truth was I wasn’t taking the day off out of respect. I have the morning ritual to do that. No, I wasn’t working it out of fear. I was afraid how I would act working that day. The last time I did work it, the evening that happened, I have very little recollection of the shift. I was just an emotional wreck. The only thing I DO remember was nearly (verbally) tearing the head off one of the store supervisors for being rather chipper and having the gall to ask me why I looked so tired and upset, like he was oblivious to what had happened 18 hours earlier. So I steeled myself to do this. It was time to deal with this. Time to truly heal.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut-

A funny thing happened between then and now. As part of changing myself for the better, I seized and opportunity to transfer to a better position that I liked. One of the advantages was the new days off: Sundays and Mondays, meaning I now got at least part of the weekend off and since most holidays fell on Mondays, extra personal holidays to use at my leisure. The unintended side effect is that since 9/11 falls this year on a Sunday…

Oh well. And so go the great plans of mice and men.

But this will not deter me from my goal. When my schedule has me working on that day, I will work it. Because sometimes the best ways to honor the dead is not by stopping your life-

But actually LIVING it, even the mundane parts.

Friday, September 9, 2011

The End of an Era… or more accurately- a notebook

Time marches forward. Sometimes at a pace quicker than expected.

A few years ago I bought a couple notebooks to keep in my backpack. (I have done this for some time.) Mainly to write down ideas that pop into my head and to rough out potential posts. Unfortunately one got destroyed due to my clumsiness and a chai tea latte. The other one, though, has served me well and today I am writing my last posting in it.

This notebook has been with me to San Diego Comicon, to the hospital, classes and lectures of various types… what have you. Its pages are filled with random notes, many now unknown to me of their original intent. There are completed postings, half (or less) ones where the idea just did not work, and some posts finished that I decided for different reasons not to put up. Recipes, phone numbers, even random doodles adorn the pages- some of them DEFINITELY not safe for work. (I get bored and horny sometimes- SUE ME!) Attempts to improve my penmanship, rebellions against the same, sometimes on the very same page. Experiments with different types of pens to find what I like best. (For the record, I prefer Tasche brand fountain pens.) But again, time has marched on and the pages are completely filled to the last.

So as I write this last posting in this notebook, I begin again the process of getting the next notebook in line ready. As usual, I got one with a pocket in it to hold a few items I like to keep with me; my sheets of Decepticon decals, drafts I tore out but want to keep safe, a letter given to me some time ago from a special someone (I may talk about that one in a later posting). They all go into the new notebook, along with my pen of choice, which in turn will go into my backpack. The old one will have its last words written in it, closed up, and placed into my file cabinet… which one day I will hopefully fully organize.

So thank you, loyal notebook. You did your duty most admirably. May the next hold up as well as you did.