Misfires

Sometimes it just goes purple.

I, at any given time, have dozens of potential ideas circling through my head.  Of those many, a few are good enough to be jotted down in my idea files.  And of those, a couple were worthwhile enough to write out as blog posts.

And they fail miserably.

A lot of the time, I just roundfile them.  Once in a great while I’ll still post it, but give warning about it.  Sometimes I can figure out what went wrong and rewrite it, and then post it.  For these, I thought I would do something different.  I am going to post the titles and short synopsis of a few failed posts here, as well as why I feel they didn’t work.  It gives you, the handful who actually read this blog, a look into the thought process that I go through.  It also gives me, the author, a relatively easy posting.  So without further ado…

Star Power

Once upon a time, films garnered most of their audiences due to the main star.  Nowadays they occasionally try to return to that method to bring in more fans.  Why doesn’t it work like it once did?  (This was based on the media coverage for the movie ‘The American’.)

Talk about opening a can of worms.  I started with this idea, and while writing it, it kept evolving.  Tangents would constantly pop up, and I would run with them as well.  I added my ideas of what factors could make a popular film; be it directors, subject matter… what have you.  And when it was finally typed out, it was an unfocused mess.  Hell, my ‘Avatar’ review was more concise than this.  And in the process of seeing if this could be salvaged, I came to realize that I just didn’t give a toot about the original idea.  So here is its final resting place.  But out of this mess, there is still potential for one of the ideas that spun off from writing this.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE VAGINA-PINK LIGHTER!!!

Through my not-so scientific observations, I deduced that if you go to parties, the only way to ensure your lighter doesn’t get stolen is to possess one in that garish pink color offered.

This one I love because of the great title.  Unfortunately, a great title does NOT a posting make.  This post ended up being a rather silly ramble that really went nowhere.  At least I finally got to post the title…

(And why would a non-smoker carry a lighter?  To use it as an opening to talk to ladies who do, of course.)

Assumption Experiment

I propose an experiment in human stupidity where I set up a couple stanchions and proceed to stand between them like I was waiting in line. I would then film the results, which I believe would be that people would line up behind me for no better reason than that there is a line.  I would then post the results.

Some things should not be done while angry and/or frustrated.  That now includes blog postings.  I am tired of people not paying attention to their surroundings and constantly repeating their mistakes.  After cooling down and thinking it over, I realized the idea was pure shit.  No chance other than this for this idea to see the light of day.

My favorite Doctor…and Companion

Where I would talk about my favorite incarnation of The Doctor from ‘Doctor Who’ and my favorite travelling companion of his, and why they were my favorites.

A good idea in theory, but with The Doctor it all comes down to which one you first really watched.  The companion portion of this posting was far more interesting, and in fact overshadowed everything… and that became a problem for me.  So in the end, I just let it go.  (For the record, they are Jon Pertwee as the third Doctor and Catherine Tate as Donna Nobel.)

The Day I… (Title never completed)

I reveal an incident from my youth where I got a glimpse of something that I knew had great meaning to me, but didn’t know why until later in life.  It was a glimpse of what I was… gleaned from of all things, a ‘Star Blazers’ episode.

This is one of the very few topics I will most likely rewrite and post properly.  Part of the problem was that I would start to stray off the main topic (the revelation) and ramble about the incredible goodness of ‘Star Blazers’.  (Hell, this might actually become TWO different postings…)  I also need to edit the clip I have with the revelation in question, and that requires me to quit procrastinating.

Another problem is that some people may interpret what I learned in a literal way rather than symbolically like I did.  And that the revelation sounds harsher about me than I mean it to.  But it is accurate; I just need to word it better.

The final problem is that I could never figure out a decent title for this post.  While the beginning works, nothing else clicks.  Maybe the muse of inspiration will take a dump of good ideas upon my head.

(And no, I am not telling what the revelation was, or even the episode I saw it in.  As I said, I hopefully will be able to finish this to the level I would like, so why give it away early?)

A Tale of Two Coins

Hello.

In amidst all the random items found in my wallet, there are two items that stand out. I am in possession of two of the large sized ‘silver’ dollar coins: one is the bicentennial Eisenhower, the other an actual silver Liberty dollar. They are constantly falling out of my wallet, and are a constant source of worry that I will lose them. So why keep them in there, instead of someplace safer? Because of what they symbolize. Allow me to explain.

As it may (or may not) be known, at one point in my life I was not the best with handling money. I’d get a paycheck and blow it within a couple days, broke until the next paycheck. I didn’t really think of the future, living in the now. It probably wouldn’t have been a big deal if I was making a good amount of money… but that was hardly the case. Finally, one day in the late 90’s I realized that this was no way to exist. I couldn’t keep this up; I needed a plan. So I went to the local bank and acquired the Eisenhower. This dollar was the key to my new way of thinking.

I dubbed it ‘My Last Dollar’ and stuck it in my wallet. As I did that, I made a personal vow to never be so broke again that I would have to spend it. And that I would do whatever it takes to ensure I would even have to think about it. I like to think I have done quite well with this, as I have worked hard to earn and save so its value is never considered. Though wallets and other contents have changed, the coin has stayed a constant.

The second dollar has a different origin, starting similarly, but having vastly different meaning.

About a year ago, I got the brilliant idea that it might be time to upgrade the ol’ coin. I have always liked actual silver coins and thought it might just be time for a symbolic upgrade; a visual reminder that I have been doing better for myself. Of course I know absolutely nothing about coins; so after a week or so of random confused searching, I finally broke down and asked the one man I knew who collected coins: my father.

After I told him what I was looking for and why, he looked thoughtful for a couple minutes, and then told me to wait where I was. He disappeared for a few moments, then came back and handed me the silver dollar you see.

As I was studying it, he asked “You see the date?” I nodded. “You know what it signifies?” I looked harder at the date and thought hard about it. Then it hit me: 1923 was the year my Grandfather was born. I gratefully thanked him and promptly placed it in my wallet.

So now I have my actual silver dollar, but I realized I just couldn’t just get rid of the original coin. It had been with me through rough times and it just didn’t feel right to lose it when things started going pretty well. So both stay in my wallet, constant reminders to try harder with my goals-

And that it is time to buy a new wallet…

A small aside about failures

Hello.

I have been having a bit of a problem lately with topics I have thought would be good subjects to talk about that when put into writing just do not work. I started about half a dozen topics that just fizzled on me. I will be doing a posting soon about the topics: what they were about and why they just didn't work.

I just hope it doesn't go the same way...

Dream Girl

(A word before I begin: This post was actually written before the previous post, but because I felt an explanation was needed for the delay, this one is coming after ‘Summers of our Discontent’.)

Hello.

I have talked before about the value of dreams; about how I feel they sometimes are your subconscious trying to help you with what might have been missed.

This is a little… different.

I honestly don’t know how to classify this. It is a small portion of a larger dream. The rest, while a complete (albeit bizarre) tale, seemed more like my anger being released as safely as possible over what has been happening to me professionally. So amidst the tale of me being a transportation department investigator on the pursuit of serial killers who turned all their victims to meat pies (and I haven’t watched Sweeney Todd for some time), trying to stop an terrorist attacks perpetrated by talking sapient animals, and finding the secret as to why all locales the transportation dept. went to looked like Disney attractions was the following segment that seemed INCREDIBLY out of place with the rest of it…

This sequence featured me in a role similar to real life. I was working as a ticket agent for the Transportation Agency. Evidently in my dream, all major forms of transportation had been combined into one: the Transportation Agency. I was working at the main counter all by myself (no surprise there) on a slow, quiet day (BIG surprise there). I was filling out paperwork during the lull when she walked up.

She was about my age, possibly a little younger and around five and a half feet, just a bit shorter than me. Slim, but not skinny, and naturally curvy. She had pale skin that looked well maintained. But the detail that really stuck out was her hair: long and straight with the color and sheen of obsidian. I acted professional, trying not to stare at her hair, and subtly avoided looking at her eyes. (Something I tend to do in real life, never quite sure why I do it…)

She was all excited, lugging a big black suitcase behind her. I was processing her ticket and mentioned her destination: Australia. With a passion, she began telling me how she had just sold everything she owned except for the contents of her suitcase and was moving there to start a whole new life, free from the burdens of her current one. I listened as I processed her paperwork, entranced with her ideas of fresh starts and new adventures, hearing not only the enthusiasm, but the intelligence in her voice as well.

I finally finished her forms and handed her back her paperwork. As I was wishing her well on her new experiences, we both finally looked face to face, and into each other’s eyes.

And time stopped.

I really don’t know how to describe what I felt. It was like we were peering into each other’s souls, connecting down to the deepest levels. As we gazed upon each other’s naked psyche, we both realized that we were what each other had been looking for for our entire lives, the part we were missing to truly be whole… but that we had found each other too late. If we had met a month, or as little as a week earlier, the connection would have been able to have happened and things would be drastically different. But the events that were in place were already in motion, and too far gone to change, and our potential together would go unrealized.

The long timeless instant broke, she grabbed her paperwork, and left for her transport, the enthusiasm and passion seen earlier dimmed a bit by our realization. Both of us not speaking, but still connected enough to be feeling remorseful and wishing it had been different outcome other than this. As she disappeared, life around me instantly sprung back and resumed into the chaos it had been, and the dream swept me away to another surreal locale and situation as it had done before this intermission.

I woke up soon afterwards, not sad or depressed, but confused and feeling a small hint of longing. I got up, got a drink of water, and went back to sleep. There were no more dreams that night.

Normally I can find meaning in my dreams, but this one has me a bit baffled. This lady is someone I have never seen in my life. She looked like no celebrity, friend, coworker, or random person I had known or even so much as glimpsed. Was she my idealized woman? A representation of some goal I am missing? I really don’t know. I thought writing it down would help… but I still have am no closer. So I am posting this, and hope that maybe some random person might give me insight to what this can possibly mean…

The Summers of our Discontent

It’s taken me this long to notice a pattern.

Looking back on my blog (both incarnations) I notice that there always seems to be a lull… usually around the summer months. Then I rapidly make a few posts, making some stupid excuse up. Truth is, there is a valid reason, but I never really grasped what it was until recently.

As you may know, I work in the travel industry, selling tickets for our services. A very good job that pays well and has decent enough benefits. It requires a lot of mental gymnastics, but I am well suited for that task. The down side is that I am also the front line if anything wrong occurs. I accept that as part of the package. For most of the year, it isn’t bad. But come summertime…

Because of what has been happening with the airline industry, business for us has boomed. And you add in that since two of the main summer docking ports for the cruise ships are located both here and north of us in Vancouver BC, we are constantly sold out (and sometimes oversold). And doing business during that time, on the front line, your mind constantly working in overdrive with the passengers, something ultimately has to be dropped to cope. With me it tends to be my creativity.

I stop watching movies or television, because my brain is too tired to think. I stop drawing because I cannot concentrate. And I stop writing because it is too much effort when I just can barely function. I have tried in the past to prep for this by making a lot of posts in advance, but they never felt right when I posted them. So I have decided to come to terms with this problem and deal with it accordingly. From now on, unless that weird spark hits me, I won’t be making any effort for my writing during the summertime. I will not force myself to be creative, because that does nothing but backfire. So I will resume my postings, and hopefully can fully get back into the groove without the specter of the busy season plaguing me.