Don’t worry- I WON’T be experimenting on this post.
I once wrote a post on how at certain times of the year I watch certain movies. Well, being an uncreative hack, I decided to go back to that particular well for this post.
‘Tis the season of festivity, joy, yadda yadda yadda. To get me in the proper mode, there are five movies I watch. These are watched in a certain order that has been scientifically proven to get me through another Christmas, Honika, Kwanza, Ramadan, insert non-denominational holiday here. (Sorry, it’s a habit I have gotten from working the public sector.)
So here we go…
5: The Iron Giant. Ironic (no pun intended) because while it’s the only film on this list that is not a Christmas movie, it inspires the most Christmas-y feelings in me. Despite my cynicism, I like to believe this time of year is when we can all try to be better than we are and when my hope in humanity is (at least temporarily) renewed. Both of these themes are perfectly captured in this film. Its climax also happens during the first snowfall, so if it’s not exactly Christmas, at least it fits winter-wise.
4: Scrooged. Now some (who am I kidding?) may wonder why I chose this rather than more classic telling of ‘A Christmas Carol.’ There are two reasons. Reason one is that his movie better portrays the main character in need of an attitude adjustment in a way that is more recognizable and connectable to the masses. Reason two? It’s Bill Freakin’ Murray.
3. A Christmas Story. No film created for this time of year has better portrayed Christmas through a child’s eyes than this one. It always takes me back to my past when I thought I would just DIE if I didn’t get gift so and so. Only TWO things prevent this from being completely accurate: Randy deciding to play with the boxes instead of the toys bought… and Ralphie forgetting the gun about three days later, mesmerized by the NEW so and so.
2. It’s a Wonderful Life. I watch this on Christmas Eve. While I really like the idea that one person CAN make a difference, this film actually is highly appealing to the sci-fi geek in me. Why, you may ask? Because this was one of the first works that I remember seeing that dealt with the ideas of alternate realities. Because of this film, I always like to ponder what if X had happened instead of Y. The TV show Fringe can thank this movie for me being a big fan…
1. Bad Santa. THE movie to cure one from all the schmaltzy sickeningly sweet crap that goes on this time of year. Every time I start to go into diabetic shock (ironic since I now have diabetes), thoughts of Billy Bob Thornton loudly proclaiming “I’M GONNA FUCK YOU SO HARD YOU WON’T SHIT RIGHT FOR A WEEK!” while doing a fat woman in the lady’s changing room while in his Santa outfit never fails to elicit laughs from me and knock the piss out of drivel like ‘Kiss Saves Christmas.’ It’s rude, crude, and unrepentantly funny. A great laugh is what is sometimes needed, and this one delivers.
There are other films and specials I could add (the animated Grinch comes to mind) but these five are the ones I watch consistently every year.
So now I must leave you (film #4 is waiting) but I leave you with these words of wisdom:
“I carved you a wooden pickle.”
(You have to have seen film #1 to understand…)
