Mister Self Distract

Mr. Self Destruct


I am the voice inside your head (and I control you)
I am the lover in your bed (and I control you)
I am the sex that you provide (and I control you)
I am the hate you try to hide (and I control you)

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

I speak religion's message clear (and I control you)
I am denial, guilt and fear (and I control you)
I am the prayers of the naive (and I control you)
I am the lie that you believe (and I control you)

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)
you let me do this to you (I am an exit)

I am the needle in your vein
I am the high you can't sustain
I am the pusher, I'm a whore
I am the need in you for more
I am the bullet in the gun (and I control you)
I am the truth from which you run (and I control you)
I am a silencing machine (and I control you)
I am the end of all your dreams (and I control you)

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct



Now that I have your attention…

Let me start this off by saying that despite the opening to this post I am not feeling suicidal. In fact, for the first time in a long time, I’m not even feeling depressed. I seem to have gained back some sense of purpose and drive. No, the problem is that I don’t seem to have gained enough back for what I want to do. Let me explain…

There are many things I want and should do. I have about a half dozen films to watch, 2 seasons of Dexter I am behind on, sort my Lego, sort books for the used book store, lose weight, the list goes on. The problem is not that I don’t have the time, but rather that I find was to NOT make the time. It’s like I delay certain goals with other, not nearly as important ones.

Can’t sort my Lego, I am researching on Wikipedia. Can’t watch ‘The Hurt Locker’, I’m watching Star Wars reviews on Youtube. Can’t ride my exercise bike, I must sort my backpack. I am always as of late seeming to find some other activity to stop me from my intended activity. And it IS frustrating. I know what it is I want to need to do, but I cannot seem to let myself do it. This is especially bizarre since the activities I replace them with would most likely befall the same fate if they were my primary to-dos.

Is it some mental block I am creating for myself? Am I sabotaging myself? Trying to make myself feel like I am accomplishing nothing? Why you let me do this to you? I am not sure. When I realize I am doing it, I can sometimes correct it… but more often I don’t think about it until after the fact. For the most part it’s not a major problem or life threatening (Except for that whole getting my fat ass skinnier) so I am not too terribly worried about it. But small problems delayed tend to become larger, so I have to get on it.


P.S. I know the song doesn’t exactly fit the theme of this post, but between the part where Trent whispers ‘You let me do this to you’ and the opportunity to use it to make a GREAT post title, how could I resist?

P.P.S. You know, using the lyrics has given me an idea. I think that I might be posting some of my favorite songs and then explaining why I like them so much. Kind of a get into my head and see WHY I like said song so much. I already have a few candidates working their way through my head…