It's CHIKENESE, NOT Chickenese!

"I have no involvement with the goat!"  (Or variation thereof):  A phrase I say when someone calls my name, with the intent of throwing them off guard.

I love a twisted sense of humor.  And the origin of this is as twisted as it gets.

Back around 15 years ago, I was part of the overnight stocking crew at the local Target.  I would be in the back, restocking the shelves from the night's deliveries.  While doing this, I would be in my own little world, listening to the radio to make the time pass faster.  I mostly listened to talk radio, as it could get quite hilarious; and the king of the shows was Loveline, hosted by Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.  If you have never heard it, these two would answer health related questions, sometimes with special guests.  While real advice was given, snarkiness was the general rule of law.  Most of the callers were teens and 20 year olds, and sometimes their unrepentant stupidity would cause Adam to go off on them.  You can see why I liked it.

This phrase's genesis came from an episode that featured Jimmy Kimmel as the guest.  As can be expected by having all three of these guys together, this episode was funnier than usual, prompting strange looks from my coworkers from my constant guffawing.  But the hilarity of the entire show was just a run up to the final question.

The final caller was a young man from the south, and with his heavy southern drawl, you mind already started to suspect the worst stereotypes of southerners.  And his question did NOT help:

He asked if he could catch a disease from fucking a goat.

And it got better.  Turns out it was his brother's pet MALE goat.  As you can guess Adam and Jimmy were having a field day with this, and even Dr. Drew kind of lost it during this.  I was laughing so hard during this, I nearly peed my pants.  In fact, when Jimmy commented that fucking a creature that ate metal and tin cans in the ass was like 'sticking your dick in a Cuisenart' I might just have.  This was one of the most hilarious things I have ever listened to.

And now it's a joke I use.  I am nothing if not the pinnacle of class...