Yes-man? NO.

Hello.

A couple weeks ago I was having a conversation with a young lady I consider a friend.  Throughout the course of our conversation, she started talking about how she was going to stop caring about people and only worry about herself. And then in the very next breath, she would complain that nobody ever seem to care about her and what was going on with her life. Well I called her on it, and as a result she got very mad at me. She got so mad she stopped talking to me, saying that if I was a true friend, I wouldn't be talking like that to her. And this conversation got me to thinking.

People have been saying that they want friends, but it's not friends they are looking for. They are looking for people who will agree with them. People who will never doubt them. People who'll never confront them. People who will always enable them. In short, they are looking for yes-men.

Now maybe I'm an unusual case, but I've always had a different opinion about how friends should act towards each other. True friends are willing to face the negative consequences of being truthful. A friend is someone who will call you on your bullshit . The problem is that one of the things people hate more than anything is being called on their bullshit and flaws. It seems honesty is not always the best policy. And I speak of this from experience.

It's never a pleasant experience to be called on your shortcomings. But I am also a realist enough to know that sometimes it is a necessary thing. In fact, I am ultimately grateful that someone is willing to do that for me. It is a high sign of respect from a friend when they are willing to face my potential anger to steer me in the right direction. Ultimately, the results of a friend willing to do that is that it helps me grow as a person. And that's not a bad thing.

A yes-man, on the other hand, just wants you to be as you are-or more accurately, as you wish you are. They may think they are being helpful, then they think they're doing the best thing for you. But ultimately they are doing nothing but harm to you. For how can you grow as a person when you are being told you are already at your best? While having yes-men around may make you feel good and short-term, in the long run they are detrimental to you. They allow no growth in a positive direction. In fact, by glossing your mistakes they allow said mistakes to grow and become worse, making you lesser. And that's not something I wish to be part of.

So while I consider it an honor that you would consider me a friend, I must be up front and let you know that I will be honest towards you, for good or for ill. I do not do this out of maliciousness. I do not do this to cut you down. I do this because it is the right thing to do. I can never be a yes-man.

You'll have to look elsewhere for that...