Not moving on- regaining

Tomorrow I will do something I have not done in 11 years.

I will work on September 11th.

For the last 11 years, I have found a way to have the day off.  From sick days to vacation to manipulating my work schedule to ensure I will not be working.  It was to remind me of what we had taken from us and to stay angry about it.

Every day at 5:40 AM on that day I would get up regardless of what I had worked the night before.  I would put the video I had recorded that day at first and moved to the film United 93 when the tape became warped in and watch it.  I would sit there reliving it, fuming, crying, wishing the outcome would be different. When it was done I would try to have as good of day as possible, to show that I am not defeated.  It was a noble thought.

But I can do better.

It is time to reclaim the day, that I am better than those that seek to destroy our nation out of fear and hatred.  It may seem bizarre to some that to do this I will be working.  But I see that the way to truly win is to show them they failed.  That even working is a joy to do in this country.  That they may have my contempt and pity, but they won't win by making me alter myself for them.  It is a small thing, I will admit.  But to me it is a small thing that speaks loudly.  I will do this.

I will regain what was lost.