Another bit of Chikenese

Dead Dave (usually said 2+ times, a bit louder and angrier each time):  Someone who just WILL NOT listen to what you are saying unless you repeat it multiple times.

We've all had to deal with this:  the person who asks a question and then makes you repeat it several times because for some reason or another they cannot comprehend or believe the answer you have given them.  It is frustrating, especially when they get huffy and mad at you because they think you sound a bit irritated after saying the same thing to them several times in a row... which, honestly you just might be.

The phrase has it's origins in the great British comedy 'Red Dwarf'- the very first episode in fact.  The show chronicles the adventures of the most motley crew ever assembled:

Dave Lister- last human alive... and pretty much the slobbiest example of Humanity.

Arnold Rimmer- a hologram of Dave's immediate supervisor... and a walking bundle of neurosis that could fill several medical textbooks.

Cat- last of Homo Felinus, descended from Dave's cat... pretty much what you would expect from a feline in humanoid form.

Kryten- a cleaning mechanoid who has broken his programming.

Holly- the Red Dwarf's computer who used to be one of the smartest creations around... until he got a bit senile after 3 billion years of being alone.

I will let the following clip show the genesis of the phrase, because it loses some of it's humor when I write it:

As you might have guessed, in my line of work I seem to spend more time repeating myself than actually dong the job I am tasked to.  I don't mind doing it once or even twice, but several times gets to me... and then to watch the person go to someone else at my work and as the SAME DAMNED QUESTION is VERY frustration.  After said incident occurs, you can usually see me head into the back and utter the phrase.

It helps...

N.R.L.E.

It's amazing the shitstorm one can cause when they say they don't like 'sparkly angst-y vampires'...

A common argument people use when you say you don't like something is 'You haven't even ________ it, so how do know you don't like it?'  This is a versatile argument that can be used for a variety of topics, as referenced above on my views of the "Twilight' books and movies.  A similar question is also asked to those who write:  How can you write about what you haven't done personally?

I personally have always found the argument bullshit.  My answer to this line of questioning is always the same:

'I don't have to eat a cat turd to know it tastes horrible."

So Stephen King can't write about the end of the world since it has never happened?  Chris Claremont can't describe how to pop out metal claws or read minds because he hasn't done either?  George Lucas can't make movies involving Death Stars or light sabers since they really don't exist?

Nope, the answers to both variations of this question are simple... and linked.  For the second, it comes down to the suspension of disbelief.  A lot of things done in works of fiction will most likely never happen in real life.  A writer must prepare his fiction in a way that makes it easy for others to suspend their disbelief in what they know cannot happen.  Some people are harder to do that to than others- which brings up to the first point.

The purveyors of works that I choose not to follow have not intrigued me enough to warrant suspending my disbelief for them.  And NO amount of your slavish fanism will change my mind.  Look, I can understand COMPLETELY such devotion to something and hatred of those who just DO NOT GET IT. 

When I try to convince someone to try something new, I use what I think would hook them as a selling point.  And I try to be up front that they might not like it at first, but give them incentive to stick around for it to get to them.  I am not always successful (even I eventually realized Heroes was a lost cause), but sometimes I get a check mark in the win column (Torchwood).  Using the 'You haven't, so you can't' argument just makes people who use it look like petulant twits that are insulted that you cannot see the goodness for yourself.  You have to sell it to me, NOT treat me with the equivalent of using 'YO MOMMA!!' to any insult against you.  It's like arguing in sound bites rather than actual facts.

So what's the bottom line with this rambling rant?  While it's a plus, having no real life experience in a subject is not necessary to have an opinion on something.  Said opinion may not always be the best, but don't dismiss it out of hand.

And for the record:

I would rather chow down on Garfield's lasagna binge excrement than invest ANY interest or time in the aforementioned sparkly angst-y vampires.

If I want to watch vampires, I'll stick with Near Dark or Buffy...

A little Chikenese for ya

Tire Kicker: A homeless person who all can tell has NO intention of a purchase, yet feigns interest solely to use the company’s facilities or loiter.

 
This is one that’s I’ve had since my convenience store days. If you have ever worked retail, you know the type. Not the same as a window shopper, as generally window shoppers are either killing time or are planning for future purchases. To be a tire kicker, three things have to be present:


A) The person is not just homeless, but obviously homeless.


B) The person has to ask ridiculous question about services offered… most likely made up on the spot.


C) They immediately ask to use the restroom after asking above ridiculous question.


Also, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the reason ‘B’ happens is because there is most likely a member of law enforcement in the area watching them.

You help them with their request to the best of your ability since it is your job, but all parties involved know it’s just a sham…

Michael Misery?

Hello.

When I first started writing this blog, it was to hone my skills, give my observations form, odd occurrences, what have you.  lately, it seems more like a downer fest... which kind of disturbs me.

You see, if you JUST read my blog, it would imply that I am a very unhappy person who seems to almost revel in misery.  It doesn't help me with my selection of topics lately.  A topic based around a song of self- destruction?  The revelation that instead of enjoying a truly great cartoon, I see visions of me permanently alone?!  And the post I had just finished and ALMOST put up?  It was me questioning if I was actually supposed to be the villain in my life.  I shit you not; me pondering if I was supposed to be the bad guy role in reality.

I wrote that topic out and was about to start typing it up when I stopped, crumpled the pages up, and threw the entire thing away.  I realized that I am tired of the perception (most likely self-perception) that I was always down and depressed.

I am NOT some closet Emo.

Right now in my life I am not only happy, but actually excited about what is to come..  I have been telling people, if they will listen to me, that this is the year everything changes- better, for the most part.  I should be talking about the changes and what I am planning, but instead I talk about the darkness in life.  Could I actually be stuck in a one-track path writing-wise?  I'm not sure, but I can at least try to diversify.

So I'll try that.  I plan on soon revisiting a topic I did some time ago about being an accidental elitist and will try my best to knock the piss out of it.  I also am thinking of writing about why it might not a good idea to relive the past and go to how things were.  (This one involves a tale of two ladies trying to do that with DISASTROUS results.  It most likely will piss them off (even if I use aliases) but frankly, after what happened, I don't give a rat's ass.  They earned it...)  I will try to not be quite so morose, since that really isn't me.

Hell, just for shits and giggles, I might see what happens when I decide to write a topic when I get REALLY drunk- although I gots a sneaking suspicion that it would most likely end up being about getting laid...